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Teenage angst has paid off well; now I'm bored and old

How do you do it, make me feel like I do? How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew

How do you do it, make me feel like I do? How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew

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Whore.
Every time I see my brother and his girlfriend together, it makes me angry. He doesn't love her. Girls are used to amuse him. He takes pride in a picture he took of her in one of the dog's cages. He teases her a lot, and he has a rather horrid personality.
Why does he deserve this? I have a lover, someone that I care about so much that it hurts, and he lives 2200 miles away. I wait by the phone for his calls, I anxiously count the days when I can see him again (28, counting today). He is my first waking thought, my final thought before I go to sleep. This is love.
My brother knows nothing about love, and doesn't care.
My lover is always there for me. He has seen me at my absolute worst, through three hospitalizations, through all my neurotic babblings, the nights I cried, the slow hell that my life here is coming to. Everything. I always knew I wanted to be with him, but at the airport before I left this summer, I knew for sure, without any doubt, that he was the love of my life and there was no one else in this world who would love and understand me like he does, no one else in this world that I want to be with for the rest of my life.
How many people can say that? Certainly not my brother, who for whatever reason is given whatever he wants. If karma is real, I'm waiting. I can't wait until we're together, every moment savored, when we don't have to worry about distance or other people's interference.
I can't wait until I'm in his arms again
but I have to
and really, it's just not fair.
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